Photos.Memories

In Remembrance of Wei Cheng

2007-11-26T18:02:00.001+08:00

26 November 2007

I'm at a lost of words... Feel so helpless at this moment. Haven't been following the newspaper for a while and when I received news of Wei Cheng's mishap in Cambodia on Sunday, I was already enroute to Bangkok for an ICT conference. How I wish I can be back in Singapore to be there with all who loved him. No amount of words can describe the sense of loss in each of our hearts. Life will never be the same again.

As his form teacher for his Sec 3 and 4 student, I would definitely say that he is not the unknown guy as portrayed by the newspaper. As Jessica puts it.. he is a fine gentleman, worthy of all our respect. He may not be your idea of a leader but he is certainly well-liked by all. He is the kind of guy whom we can depend on for anything. Unassuming and sincere, Wei Cheng's actions speak louder than the words one can utter. As Jessica said.. simply sweet, a sweet guy with a BIG heart.

I am just saddened by the whole thing and it is made worse by me being away at this time. But his death is a reminder to all of us, that life is very fragile. Perhaps, we should not wait until the day that we remember their kindness.. Perhaps, we should just continue to show love to one another each day of our lives, for we know not when we will depart from this world. Have we been too busy with our work that we forget the many people by our side? It's time (esp. for me) to regain our perspective of life once more before it is too late.

To all my friends and beloved students, let's not wait till later to show care and concern, nor wait till later for words of kindness.. remember that life is no more than a vapour

Wei Cheng will live in our hearts, our memories of him as a sweet fine gentleman will continue to burn in our hearts...

Deepest condolences...
Mr Choy
Wei Cheng's form teacher for 2002 and 2003..
With fond memories of a fine, young gentleman who lost his life in pursuit of his passion and dreams, an unassuming man with a BIG heart, one whose sincerity has touched all those around him.

The Passion to learn?

2007-06-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

Looking at my last post... time flies. I had wanted to post this earlier but really bogged down with too much work.. ha ha... ok.. excuses, excuses.. Wanted to post this after watching the school's CLDDS performance, 学艺新声 2007. It was one of the few performances that inspired me to make a post. In essence, I saw something that night... Passion.

If you ask me what is the single most important ingredient for success... my answer would be "Passion!". Without passion, it would be hard to persevere on in the face of challenges and difficulties; without passion, it would be hard to find joy in doing mundane but necessary tasks; without passion, it would be hard to pick up the pieces after a failure; without passion, it would be hard to enjoy the fruits of your success. While I was busy taking photos for the CLDDS, the strong sense of passion for their art shines through clearly during the entire performance.

I sometimes lament at the lack of passion in what students do... I sometimes cannot understand why students cannot see the beauty in the subject (Math in my case)... At times, I just cannot seemed to sense the passion in my students to learn... Or perhaps, I might have lost the passion to teach? I hope not and I certainly won't want that to happen.

Teaching has always been my passion and even more so after the BIG setback in my personal life. Teaching is the only thing (besides God) that keeps me going and I want to be a good teacher. It just upsets me when I fail to deliver a good lesson or when my students do not seemed to understand and want to find out from me. Nevertheless, I want to press on towards my goal, and I believe one day... my students will understand and see the beauty in the subject that I love so much.

My students (current and past), if you are reading this, I really hope that you would continue to press on in the face of adversity. I read from some of your comments in my previous posts that you may not exactly get the best of lecturers, but I believe at times, breakthroughs come after a long struggle or even greater setbacks. Remember... with passion, you would not be afraid to make mistakes and learn from them... and I hope I will not forget this as well...

Do you have the passion to learn? Or teach? Just some food for thought... Think about it. If you have lost that passion.. ask yourself.. what happened? When did you lose your first love? Hmm.. not too sure whether I am making sense... but think about it... Will make more sense in my next post (when I am not so sleepy - still struggling with work in school at this hour... 2305 on 7 June 2007)

A New Beginning

2006-10-17T14:44:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been quite a long time since I last made an entry into my blog. Life has been busy and there are indeed so much work to be done. BUt, I do not think I can continue with my work without expressing my heart-felt gratititude to my students. You see, yesterday, was graduation day.

It was with mixed feelings that I sent them off. These two years was tough for me. In my teaching career, I have never find it so difficult. My personal life was a mess and it affected me in a lot of ways. But God still sees me through it all. As I read some of the notes that my students gave me, I cannot help but tears welled up in my eyes. Yes, it was a journey, one that is filled with sadness and sweetness. It was with pride that I saw each and every one of them grow. My journey was made a lot easier by them. Perhaps, God placed them in my life at this juncture to encourage me as much as I want to encourage them.

It was particularly heart warming when I read one of the notes given by my student. He said he was glad that I am laughing again. Indeed. My usual cheerful self is slowly coming back. I can feel it too. Maybe, it is due to the fact that I can start looking forward to the day when I can close this chapter of my life. My wife has finally set the date for a divorce. If God does not turn her heart back by Jan 2008, it would be over for us. In my heart, I know it is over unless God chooses to change her heart.

This will always be a bad chapter in my life but it is also one of the best. In it, I see the hand of God with me, leading and guiding me. Just like a kind shepherd who leads his sheep through the valley of the shadow of death. These students, my friends and many others have help me much through this journey. I learnt a lot in this chapter. Forgiveness and the ability to see beyond my circumstances are my two most important lessons:

Will you forgive your loved one who betrayed you? I used to think it is definitely easy to do so. However, when I personally learnt that my wife has been cohabiting with another man, I am faced with this challenge of forgiving her. It was not easy, trust me. But I did. Forgiveness comes when you look beyond the person and the act to the source of that agony - Love. It pains us when our loved ones hurt us. It was not an easy lesson to learn.

The ability to see beyond the circumstances and that God is in it through it all, is something that my students have given me these two years. In the same way, I hope I have encouraged them as well to look beyond the present. YOu may be feeling tired and anxious about the O Levels but remember... it is just an exam and it will come to past no matter what.

Do your best! Look at those things that will motivate you. Friendship and Love are some of the precious things that we can hold on to in such times. Encourage others and you find yourself comforted. By looking at others and not focused on ourselves, we see the Grace of God in all these things.

So, take care my students. Thanks for being there. I love teaching you all and all of you once again, help me to affirm why I join teaching in the first place. Thank you. All the best in your studies!

Happy Birthday...

2006-01-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

Yes... today is my birthday... It was with mixed feelings that I begin my 32nd year on this planet. When I look at the year past, I just can't help but feel sad. I could still remember vividly where my wife and I went for dinner on my birthday last year. I could still remember what she bought for me and when and where she went to buy. Things are so different now. It's never the gift or the cake that I remember... but the people who spent my birthdays with me.

The Lord giveth and taketh away... even though I am alone this year... He is ever so faithful and gracious to provide many people who really make my day. There are bros and sisters-in-Christ who celebrated for me on Tuesday... there are friends who sent it their messages from all over the world... there are my students who are always there to give me the encouragement that I needed... there are my current students who never fails to bring a smile on my face... there are my colleagues who celebrated for me as well, my parents, my sister... best friends... Looking at the long long list, I cannot help but give thanks to Him.

For all those whom I mentioned (you know who u are), I am really touched by your kind words and actions... your care and concern... your love and friendship... Though I am sad yet I am comforted... that feeling is just so strange. Perhaps like the photo of the yellow flower, taken after the rain... Does it look sad or do you see hope in it? I see a bit of both... perhaps I would like to focus on the hope. There is always a rainbow after the storm... and I'm looking forward to that rainbow.

It was during this very difficult time that I realised that the greatest satisfaction comes from giving. It's about giving whatever you have to offer to your loved ones, your friends, those whom are important to you and even strangers. Through giving encouragement to others, I find myself encouraged. I believe that God is using this period to train me and to mould me. Just like what one of the sisters once said to me... now it is also my favourite poem...

When God wants to drill a man,
And thrill a man,
And skill a man
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch His methods, watch His ways!
How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him:
By every act induces him
To try his splendor out--
God knows what He's about.

It is with this hope that I begin my 32nd year and it is my sincere prayer that God will continue to guide my footsteps in time to come.

A Happy New Year?

2006-01-06T21:07:00.000+08:00

Six days into the new year... lots of thoughts these few days. Was so busy with work and I was wondering whether I should work on my thesis tonight... After my dinner, I finally decided to give myself a break. So, here am I... at harbourfront starbucks... working on my blog.

I chose this picture (taken on 2nd Jan during a short hike to the treetop walk at Mac Ritchie Reservoir) because I was reminded of the butterfly story in one of the comments to my previous post. The butterfly story really gave me some encouragement. I heard it a few times but I supposed you will only appreciate it when you are going through some trials in life. At this point in my life, the only thing I can rely on is God.

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." - 1 Cor 10:13

His grace is sufficient for me to go through this very difficult time of my life. It is not easy for me but again, God never promise that it will be easy. He only promise that He will provide a way. Perhaps I am able to go through it with Him and that's why He allowed this to happen to me. And the reason I can think of is that He has some important lessons for me to learn.

Anyway, this is perhaps the new year where I comtemplated a lot on what happened in the past year. Looking back, I cannot but be thankful to God for all that He hath provided... family, bros and sis-in -Christ, friends, colleagues and students. All of you in one way or another, cheer me up when I am down. As I go onto my 32nd year of my life (opps! that 's my age revealed) soon, I cannot help but wonder about my future. My future is so uncertain... but I am sure, God has already prepare the way for me.

Looking forward to the year, I realise I must do my best to recover from this major setback. It may take me some time (maybe a few years) but I am sure I can do it, especially with His Help. So, after a break of so many years without a new year resolution, I have decided to make three this year. First, is to walk closely with God. He is the ONLY one who can see me through and He will provide. Second, I want to improve my photography skills. Will be taking a lot of pictures this year... so students, get ready... Last but not least, I must exercise. Promised Pastor Ter that I will complete the Penang Hill when I return to Penang end of this year.

To my students, I wonder whether any one of you make new year resolutions? Somehow, I got this feeling within me that I will be able to do it this time. Resolutions are good. They serve as a target for the year and somehow sets a purpose for us. What do you want to achieve this year? good results? memorable class?

Whatever it is, I just pray that all my students will enjoy their final year in RV. take time to build up friendships with your friends and do not forget to maintain your ties with us, teachers. Take time to enjoy the surroundings that we often take for granted... Take time to enjoy the process of learning... Take time to smile... to cry... to celebrate... and to enjoy sometimes... solitude. I came to realise that when I sit down to think about all these things, I am very much comforted once more. Like what some of my friends said... take time to count the blessings we have and we will see how small our problems really are! So, my students, do not be afraid of the coming O levels... just do your best and the rest is really up to God.

As we go into the new year, let us all be ready to face the different challenges that each one of us has. when we realise that we are never walking alone... we will be able to make it because we know we can find strength and comfort from those around. Just like the pupa which struggled to become the butterfly, I am sure we can all fly high. really felt better after babbling my thoughts through this blog... time to sleep... good night...

A sad Christmas...

2005-12-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

Christmas is her favourite holiday... My wife loves Christmas. We once quarrelled over the origin of Christmas and that almost breaks us apart... With much reluctance, I got a new Christmas Tree last year for her. It was the last time that tree will ever stand in my house. My house is so empty without her... everything is so despairing... There is no point in putting up a Christmas tree anymore. I lost a home and until now, the only reason I can think of is that God wants me to rely on Him totally in her absence. The kind of agony I am going through, only God knows and understands.

Perhaps due to the Christmas season, I am particularly lonely and depressed. So, I was really grateful to many of the brothers and sisters who gave me the company that I badly needed yesterday and today. Just like the picture, which depicts a coming storm with sunshine in the background, somewhere not too far away... My feelings now is generally sad... I cried a few times in the car and tears welled up at times for no reasons... My only comfort lies in the sunshine not too far ahead... that God will one day lift me up from all these sadness.

Today's Christmas message really spoke to me. It reminds me once again that God loves me no matter what. Though I am "walking through the valley of the shadow of death..." He is there with me, to comfort me and to walk me through all these. This is the comfort I needed from His Precious Word, something that I hold dearly in my heart ever since she left. God's provisions are always more than sufficient... when I feel lonely and down... He always stirs the hearts of some brothers and sisters to remember me... to ask me out for coffee... for a good fellowship... I really appreciate all those company. It has kept me alive till now.

My students... do not worry... I still want to teach all of u and make sure all of u get to the jcs that u want. Teaching is the other thing that kept me sane. Teaching is my calling and passion... so I will do it to the best of my ability for His Glory. It is also at this time, that God gave me another interest... photography.... something to keep me occupied. But maybe due to my sadness, I find myself shooting two types of pictures... one is a sad scene, something that evokes a lot of feelings.... the other, laughter or a nice smile... perhaps something I lack these days. As the year comes to a close, I would like to thank all my students, both past and present, for all your kind understanding and support during this very difficult year. God gave me all of u to keep my life going. Just as I am going to struggle and do my best to emerge victorious at the end, it is my prayer that all of u will do the same. Fight a good fight and never give up even at the very end. Sometimes, it is good to know that it is not the results but the process.

For my friends out there, reading this... I will not do anything foolish. I am just expressing my inner thoughts so that I will feel a lot more better. At times, I really hope to call one of u and cry out loud in front of u. Even as I am typing this... tears just rolled down... Guess I am a sendimental guy who holds all relationships very dearly to my heart. I am getting used to this ups and downs that I am facing... but I wonder how my wife is doing? Is she going through the same depression as me or is she ... ?

Like i said... this is a sad Christmas for me but there are moments where I can feel the sense of comfort and joy from God, in spite of all that has happened to me. I have learnt to count my blessings... and more importantly, I must learn my lesson... I always fail in relationships... and I hope this is the last one that I fail. The only relationship that is ever so sweet and strong is that between God and me. No one, not one can take that from me. So, no matter what, I am reminded of His Love for all of us during this Christmas Season and I pray that all those going through a difficult time like me... to have this faith in Him that He will see us through.

"be strong and of a good courage..."

Esplanade

2005-11-19T09:10:00.000+08:00

Hi! It's been quite a while since my last post. Was really busy with all the school stuff. Wanted to post this much earlier but just couldn't find the time. Sometimes, I just felt like doing a lot of things... like writing a new textbook, writing a new set of notes, reading a book, playing my French Horn, listening to music etc... but just could not find the time. Sigh...

Anyway, the photo was taken on the same night as the previous night scene. This is a photo of the famous esplanade. This really reminds me of my first passion -- Music.

I have always enjoyed music, both performance and listening. It was something within my heart that I could never explain. Since young, I had this desire to want to play piano or any other instruments. I came from a poor family that could not afford such luxury. So, in the end, I never learned how to play piano. Perhaps, my passion showed and my dad chose band as my ECA (Extra-curricular activities as it was then known). Since then, I realised that I am one step closer to fulfilling my dream of making music.

Passion is a strange thing. It motivates you to do things that you would never have done otherwise. It pushes you to the limit and challenges you to do so. When things get tough, passion drives you to overcome all obstacles. When things get too laborious, passion gets you to look beyond that to the sweetness of an eventual success.

When I first hit my high F on my horn, I was thrilled. It was something that I remembered till now. That moment... is something I cannot really describe. After that, I practiced and practiced till I hit my high high C. Looking back, I remembered the countless hours that I spent in the Band Room (in RV) and Hwa Chong. It was there, I forged many friendships with many others of the same passion. Even though, I don't play in any band, I can still feel the joy when I hear a good band playing. It is something that no one can take away.

With passion, comes committment. Passion does not ensure that you will do well but it will definitely make sure that the process is sweeter. I do not think I am a good player at all, but I am very sure that I enjoyed every single hour of my French Horn playing days, even those that weren't so enjoyable. When I recall those days... memories of playing in Hamar stadium (Norway), NIE Band Room (Bukit Timah), corridor outside band room (RV) and not forgetting the "horse-shoe building" in Hwa Chong... I can't resist that smile...

So, my friends... develop that passion to learn. It is my personal belief that the key to learning anything is to have that passion. Passion does not mean that you will be successful. All that it ensures that when you look back at the process, there will always be sweet memories. My other passion is Mathematics. I am not good at it but I really like it. And I hope my passion can rub off my students and inspire them to want to do that subject in the future...

Well, it's time to do my work liao... so till my next post... to my students, enjoy your holidays!

Night Scene...

2005-10-20T21:19:00.000+08:00

I like night scenes... though I can't really take good pictures of them.

This was taken on 02 October 2005... Wasn't feeling very happy that day... For some reasons, I just could not do my work. I tried to do some work in NUS... really... but just dun feel like it. In the end, I gave up. Perhaps, this is how my students felt when they are doing my mathematics worksheets.

For the last eight months, I really feel lousy on sundays. Loneliness. It's something that I feel most on sundays. I still remember those happy days, when my wife was with me. Though, most of the time, she was either shopping or doing her work, her sheer presence with me was sufficient to make me happy. Perhaps, that is what they call love? But love is very different. It is more than a feeling. Love is a committment. It is about loving someone even if she chooses to leave you... it is about choosing to accept her faults... it is about accepting her for who she is... even if it hurts.

Through all these ups and downs, I have come to the conclusion that I need to do what is right and leave the rest to divine intervention. The journey is difficult but I must persevere. In time to come, I believe that I will understand why I need to go through all these. But, before that time comes, I just need to hang on to the hope that I have.

Similarly, my students... if you are reading this... do not give up, no matter what. Regardless of how difficult the situation is... in spite of how badly you did for the papers, there is always a purpose in every thing. Maybe you need to go through this to understand the importance of hard work. There is no joy without sadness, no sweetness of victory without the bitterness of failure, no smiles without tears, no gain without pain. Some of you may be feeling as lousy as me now... but take heart. You are not alone. Remember... there are many others in the world who are in a worse position than us. Remember... hurricane Katrina... remember Bali bombing... remember the Pakistan earthquake... remember that there are people who struggle to live. We need to be strong.

Sometimes, all that we need to do is to wait... wait for the correct timing? But we need to take that first step too... waiting alone cannot achieve much. To take this photo, I went to the bridge near Suntec and waited from 5 to 7pm... PAtience... In fact, I took a lot of pictures that day... Diligence... Each photo that I took is a lesson in itself... Learning from mistakes. When you finally get it right, the joy is something that you will never forget.

Maybe, it gives us comfort to know that we are never alone... As I was waiting for the sun to set, I realised that several other photographers were there waiting as well... I was not alone! Similarly, you have friends who will go through the same struggle with you. Knowing that you are not alone in the journey can bring new-found strength to carry on.

Okie... I think I have babbled enough today... till then... have a good night...

3C Photos

2005-09-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

Dear 3C students,
just a couple of photos for you to enjoy...

3A Teachers' Day Photos

2005-09-28T09:19:00.000+08:00

Dear 3.4 Abused students...
Here are the Teachers' Day photos... Enjoy...

Yes... I know who holds the FUTURE!

2005-09-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

I don't knowAbout tomorrow

I just live from day to day

And I don't borrow from its sunshine

For its skies may turn to gray

And I don't worry about my future

For I know what Jesus said

And today He walks beside me

For He knows what lies ahead

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to under-stand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand

One of my favourite hymn... it really describes my feelings now. I must say I am greatly touched by the encouragement from many of you. (to my students) I will be strong and I will draw strength from above and from those around me who are ever so concerned about me. Like what Pamela said... it may be the end of a chapter... Life must move on from here. Though I may not recover so fast, I am sure I will with His Help. Teaching is something I love and I'll pray I will continue to transmit this passion for learning to my students, both past, present and future.

Perhaps, this is a life lesson that I must go thru so that I can learn about God's Love and Faithfulness and ultimately, the joy when God revealed His eternal purpose for me. To all those who are concerned... do not worry... I will take good care of myself. Thank you for your friendship...

Hope in a gloomy world

2005-09-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

(Picture of sunrise taken at Lanjut Golden Beach Resort, Pahang)

Today... as usual is another sad day. I sometimes wonder how many more sad days must I go thru. Though I cannot understand, I know that God must have a purpose for me to go thru all these. My life is a mess... but I still hold on to that eternal hope that I have in Christ Jesus. Someday... somehow... God will let me know in His Perfect timing. One sister-in-Christ commented about a month ago that she noticed that I am no longer that cheerful. I wished I could just tell her what happen but I thought not. Not everyone can take such news. Nevertheless, whether u know or dun know, just pray for me...

I'm praying and still praying... that I will be back to my normal self... now my life only centre about God's Words and my work. Got a thesis to complete... got exam papers to set... got assignments to set... but sometimes, I just dun feel the motivation to wake up.

This photo that I have chosen really represented my thoughts well... There is hope beyond a gloomy world...

3K Teachers Day Celebrations

2005-09-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

This class sure knows how to enjoy themselves. I can still remember the nice chocolate cake... Hmm... (yummy... yummy...) By the way, I love chocolate, ice cream and anything sweet! (hint* hint*)

3A 2005 ACM Learning Journey Part 2

2005-09-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

Hi! here's a continuation of the photos taken during the learning journey...
Particularly, like the one with Jared's face... the mysterious face...

3K 2005 - Steamboat dinner

2005-09-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

I almost could not make it for the steamboat... Was rushing to the place and realised that I took the wrong turn and needed to make one BIG round... anyway, was glad to make it there. Though I did not eat anything... was happy to be there to capture a few shots... :)

It turned out there quite a number of you are very photogenic. The best photos capture that million $$$ smile...

Hope you enjoy the photos as much as I love taking them...

3A - ACM Learning Journey (Part 1)

2005-09-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

Well, it was really an exciting day for me! Never driven so fast before in my life. Was trying to rush back to get my camera so that I can take photos of you guys and gals... It's really our first outing together.. right? Hope you like the photos... more on the teachers' day celebrations will come later...

4J 2004 - Simply Special

2005-09-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

Class of 4J 2004...
I still remember the first day I stepped into your class... Applause... though I frowned upon it at first, I must say that it gave me some assurance that I can really work with you. Among my classes, you are the one that I have seen the most growth. We have been thru several ups and downs...

Perhaps, that's why you are so special... we struggled together, we got disappointed together and at the very end, we celebrated together. In fact, you have strengthen my belief that it is the love for learning that I must teach you... rather than the mathematical concepts...

Do continue to enjoy learning... that will bring you far..

4C 2004 - Laughter

2005-09-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

Class of 4C 2004 ... the class of laughter...

A class of a kind... though I only started teaching you in Sec 4, I must say I'm really impressed with you guys and gals. Of course, you do not have many guys... :)

Your laughter is something that I will remember... when I am down (as often as two to three days) I will always try to think about your class. You are the only class who never fails to laugh at every single one of my silly antics... even though, some antics are really my habits...

Your class spirit and genuine gratitude for your teachers really touched me and many others. Do continue to be fun loving... remember...

Humour is the best medicine...

4A 2004 Memories

2005-09-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

Memories...
It was just like yesterday that I first walked into the classroom of 3A 2003. Everything was like a fairy tale. Something that I did not tell you then is this: After the very first lesson, I know from the start that I am going to enjoy teaching you! I remembered vividly running into the staff room and rattled to Ms Cheang how great a class you are.

Realised that there are some of you who are really genius! Most important of all, you were so responsive. Looking back, I really enjoyed teaching you and being your form teacher in Sec 4. You never ever make me worried about anything. This is the class spirit that you must keep...

It's my wish that all of you will do your best in everything... remember... always that it is not the result at the end that you recall... it is always the process, the struggle, the happiness, the disappointment, the pain and the people who matter most.

Come back often... mean while... all the best for your coming Promos...

Class of 2004 (4A)